Over the past 7-10 days I have discovered that the only way to keep my sciatic pain in check (pending that back procedure that I can't reschedule until COBRA gets their act together) is to spend 23 hours a day flat on my back. The only time I get up is to sit on the side of my bed to eat or to hobble the few feet to the restroom.
The drawback to this us that my knees ache more and, if I don't keep at least one of th bent at all times, the lower back pain really kicks in.
So.... Does anyone know how long it takes someone to get bed sores if they stay in bed all the time?
In a side note, the MRSA abcess that I have on the back of my left arm is finally coming to a head do I can drain it some and relieve some of the pressure from it. That helps relieve some of the pain as well. I probably need to get it looked at now but I may be forced to wait until my COBRA insurance cards arrive.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
When it rains, it Pours
Just before betdime I found out that, prior to being sale to get percriptions filled or my back procedure pre-certified well apparently have to wait on new insurance cards arriving. Meanwhile I am stuck using meds that dont seem to work at all. I only got 3hrs of sleep last night and hoped, based on my cyrrent exhaustion and the additional meds I took at bedtime, that I would be out for the night I was..... For 3 hours....
To make matters worse, I now have what seems to be a MRSA Staph abcess behind me left arm. I will have to wait until the new COBRA cards arrive before seeking medical attention from thevdoctors that treated all my previous ones. By then I will probably have lost half the muscle in the back of my left arm.
Mobile Blogging from here.
To make matters worse, I now have what seems to be a MRSA Staph abcess behind me left arm. I will have to wait until the new COBRA cards arrive before seeking medical attention from thevdoctors that treated all my previous ones. By then I will probably have lost half the muscle in the back of my left arm.
Mobile Blogging from here.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wasted Month
Despith the fact that I filed a letter of intent to continue my medical insurance through COBRA when my employment at SKZ ended almost 45 days ago, the wonderful folks at BCBS of GA still haven't gotten my medical coverage renewed.
It took almost 4 full weeks for them to get the correct paperwork to me and get things set up for me to access my account correctly online and, despite the fact that I made the payments online 2-3 days ago, my coverage still isn't in effect.
What this means fio me is a lot of sleepless nights since I am forced to use cheaper and less effective meds for pain (or rather to help me sleep through the pain) at night at well as having to postpone a much needed back procedure until I can get it pre-certified with BCBS.
All this adds up to a long month of August. Despite the financial hardship it placed me in I was forced to not only pay for coverage for August (even tjough it is thr 28th and i still dont have coverage...) but also pay for September in advance just so there would be no further interruptions in my coverage.
Before ladt week I never realized how much I would miss that little blue pill I took every night.... (Not THAT pill, Silly! I'm talking about Ambien!!!)
It took almost 4 full weeks for them to get the correct paperwork to me and get things set up for me to access my account correctly online and, despite the fact that I made the payments online 2-3 days ago, my coverage still isn't in effect.
What this means fio me is a lot of sleepless nights since I am forced to use cheaper and less effective meds for pain (or rather to help me sleep through the pain) at night at well as having to postpone a much needed back procedure until I can get it pre-certified with BCBS.
All this adds up to a long month of August. Despite the financial hardship it placed me in I was forced to not only pay for coverage for August (even tjough it is thr 28th and i still dont have coverage...) but also pay for September in advance just so there would be no further interruptions in my coverage.
Before ladt week I never realized how much I would miss that little blue pill I took every night.... (Not THAT pill, Silly! I'm talking about Ambien!!!)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Change of address
It is after 6:00 AM and it is obvious that the Sand Man no longer resides at this address. Does anyone know where I can get a Change of Address Form in a cituation like this?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Will someone please pay the ransome?
Yep, Mr. Sandman has gone missing again. Due to a lapse in my insurance (still waiting, after 3 weeks, for Blue Cross to get COBRA set up...) my doctor called in a cheaper substitute to the Ambien CR that I had been taking. (can you believe that they want over $250 a bottle fir that? That's like $$8.50 per nught's sleep!!)
As you can tell, it is almost 2:00 AM and the pain is winning this arm wrestling contest. It looks like a lot of sleepless nights ahead. Maybe a percocet will even the odds some. I know the loratab I took an hour ago hasn't ....
As you can tell, it is almost 2:00 AM and the pain is winning this arm wrestling contest. It looks like a lot of sleepless nights ahead. Maybe a percocet will even the odds some. I know the loratab I took an hour ago hasn't ....
Where have all the towers gone...
The last time I got enough if a cell signal to receive a text message was 4 days ago. I feel like I am gradually loosing contact with the world. Is one lousy bar too much to ask for?
If I only had a brain....
Can someone please direct me to the Yellow Brick Road so that I can find the Wizard of Oz? Between the 60 Mg of Baclophen and the 3000 Mg of Neurontin I am thking (not to mention the Loratab 10 and Percicet 10 I am taking through the day and even during the night at times...), it is all I can do to string a sentence together - depending greatly on the iPhone's ability to auti-correct spelling.
It is difficult to even string 2 words together however. For example, when attepmting to spell the word "someone" in the first sentence of this blog entry, I tried to start the word with a "c".
Hey- when you say the name of the letter, doesn't it start with a "s" sound?
I even routinely swap one word for another. It is taking me a few weeks but I am working on a 2-page doc containing all my medical info. In it I described my pain as "secure" instead of "severe". Just what is secure pain?
If I only had a braid....
(No.... That last comment was not intentional. That us a prime example of how my brain is working at the moment...)
It is difficult to even string 2 words together however. For example, when attepmting to spell the word "someone" in the first sentence of this blog entry, I tried to start the word with a "c".
Hey- when you say the name of the letter, doesn't it start with a "s" sound?
I even routinely swap one word for another. It is taking me a few weeks but I am working on a 2-page doc containing all my medical info. In it I described my pain as "secure" instead of "severe". Just what is secure pain?
If I only had a braid....
(No.... That last comment was not intentional. That us a prime example of how my brain is working at the moment...)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Would you trade an arm for a leg?
In an effort to get dome relief fort back pain, I spent most of the last 24-36 hours laying flat on my back with my knees propped up ( to relieve the pressure from my lower back).
While this helped my back a lot ( until the next time I have to sit up for any length of time...) the awful trade off was that now my knees hurt so bad that it is excruciating to even walk to the bathroom.
I feel like I'm am forced to make a trade - get where my back is comfortable ur get where my knees get some relief. It is like being given the choice to have someone chip off your arm or your leg. What a choice to make...
In an ideal situation I would be in a hospital bed with my head slightly raised and my kneel propped up. The only problem us that, with my knees propped up like that, it is much more difficult to flex them and keep them from getting stiff. If anyone reading this has any ideas, I would love to hear from you..
While this helped my back a lot ( until the next time I have to sit up for any length of time...) the awful trade off was that now my knees hurt so bad that it is excruciating to even walk to the bathroom.
I feel like I'm am forced to make a trade - get where my back is comfortable ur get where my knees get some relief. It is like being given the choice to have someone chip off your arm or your leg. What a choice to make...
In an ideal situation I would be in a hospital bed with my head slightly raised and my kneel propped up. The only problem us that, with my knees propped up like that, it is much more difficult to flex them and keep them from getting stiff. If anyone reading this has any ideas, I would love to hear from you..
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Early wrinkles
Despite taking some meds last night that was intended to help me sleep, I still laid in bed until 4:00 AM before drifting off. Obviously that didn't last long. Pain woke me up again a little after 7:00.
While laying there counting the proverbial sleep I realized upon several occasions that, while my body was relaxed (between back spasms and the stabbing sciatic pain that hit me intermittantly during the night...), my face was not.
I guess ut was the constant pain that was causing a deep frown and an angry scowling expression on my face. Despite repeated attempts to relax my face, the expression would creep back moments later. (I guess that is how the doctor at the pain clinic can take one look at me and remark that they can see how much pain I in....)
I can only wonder hoe soon this will cause permenant wrinkles on my face...
While laying there counting the proverbial sleep I realized upon several occasions that, while my body was relaxed (between back spasms and the stabbing sciatic pain that hit me intermittantly during the night...), my face was not.
I guess ut was the constant pain that was causing a deep frown and an angry scowling expression on my face. Despite repeated attempts to relax my face, the expression would creep back moments later. (I guess that is how the doctor at the pain clinic can take one look at me and remark that they can see how much pain I in....)
I can only wonder hoe soon this will cause permenant wrinkles on my face...
Monday, August 17, 2009
Amber waves of pain
I don't have a lot to do with the "purple mountatn' majesty" but I have become very familiar with UHF "amber waves of pain" that the song writer wrote about. (time out while I correct the 16 misspelled words thus far...)
Forget it - proplc will just to have te decyfer what they get. Thank god for the auttocorrect sutocomplete feslture built into the iPhone by aple, huh. This would ge disaster without it...
As I was saying before that rabbit tail, I recognize those waves of pain as what I izvh been going through for the past few months. All if tales in an hour or so doing something as easy as using Windows clipboard th combine sourced from about 3 locations and try to consolidate that information into one place and the result is an entire night of being racked with waves of pain from mt lower back to my knees. Is igvrorth ut?
Right now I have no choice. SKC isn't interested in me returning to work there but there are still a lot of related issues that need to be addressed so that my employment termination will be proprly documented so that i will be eligible for some much needed benefits associated with COBRA. I thunk all the ducks are in a row nod bou I will have to get severay things taken care of before I can once again reschedule a much-needed back procedure.
Of course I will spend tonight paying for what I was forced to take care of thus afternoon. I may be forced to medicate myself into a stuper before the sandman grabs a tazi for this side of town .....
Forget it - proplc will just to have te decyfer what they get. Thank god for the auttocorrect sutocomplete feslture built into the iPhone by aple, huh. This would ge disaster without it...
As I was saying before that rabbit tail, I recognize those waves of pain as what I izvh been going through for the past few months. All if tales in an hour or so doing something as easy as using Windows clipboard th combine sourced from about 3 locations and try to consolidate that information into one place and the result is an entire night of being racked with waves of pain from mt lower back to my knees. Is igvrorth ut?
Right now I have no choice. SKC isn't interested in me returning to work there but there are still a lot of related issues that need to be addressed so that my employment termination will be proprly documented so that i will be eligible for some much needed benefits associated with COBRA. I thunk all the ducks are in a row nod bou I will have to get severay things taken care of before I can once again reschedule a much-needed back procedure.
Of course I will spend tonight paying for what I was forced to take care of thus afternoon. I may be forced to medicate myself into a stuper before the sandman grabs a tazi for this side of town .....
You do the Math
As I have mentioned before, the doctors really love to have you rate your Odin from 1-10. That really leaves me in a quandry as to how to do the math.
Fir example, my lower back us a good solid 4, my kneed are at a 5-6, and my sciatic pain us a constant 5 until the sharp stabbing pain hits when it immediately jumps to 7-8 before dropping back to a 5 again
So, if the doctor were to ask me again, what should I tell him. Do I average all the numbers, add them, or run some sort of new age math to factor in the 4 types and degrees of pain and multiply that by the number of hours I have been hurting and then add ATF aggrivation caused by restless leg syndrome.
Either way, it us TO DARN MUCH!!!
Fir example, my lower back us a good solid 4, my kneed are at a 5-6, and my sciatic pain us a constant 5 until the sharp stabbing pain hits when it immediately jumps to 7-8 before dropping back to a 5 again
So, if the doctor were to ask me again, what should I tell him. Do I average all the numbers, add them, or run some sort of new age math to factor in the 4 types and degrees of pain and multiply that by the number of hours I have been hurting and then add ATF aggrivation caused by restless leg syndrome.
Either way, it us TO DARN MUCH!!!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I've got tears in my ears...
When I was a young child and would be crying over some boobio or another, my mom used to quote some old song about having "tears in my ears from lying on my back crying over you..."
I can sympathize with that since I spend so much of my time lying in bed crying. Even if I manage to catch an hour or two worth of sleep I wake up feeling Luke the sandman used a snow shovel. My eyelashes regularily glued shut with crusted tears.
I am getting so tired of this.
On a side note, I was watching television today and they were discussing the clinical definition of depression. I was surprised at how familiar it all sounded.
Maybe I should go back on Cymbalta. The only problem is that it causes me to have the runs and the last thing I need, moving as slow as I do, is a daily case of the trots...
I can sympathize with that since I spend so much of my time lying in bed crying. Even if I manage to catch an hour or two worth of sleep I wake up feeling Luke the sandman used a snow shovel. My eyelashes regularily glued shut with crusted tears.
I am getting so tired of this.
On a side note, I was watching television today and they were discussing the clinical definition of depression. I was surprised at how familiar it all sounded.
Maybe I should go back on Cymbalta. The only problem is that it causes me to have the runs and the last thing I need, moving as slow as I do, is a daily case of the trots...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Where's my Worm
The old saying is that the early bird gets the worm. If that is the case, I'm ready for mine (the gummy variety , please....)
I an getting so tired of only being able to get a couple of hours of sleep before pain wakes me up and prevents me from going back to sleep.
What am I supposed to do? I already take an Ambien CR at bedtime and often chase it down with either a loritab or a percocet.
Despite me best efforts, I don't remember the last time I got a full night's sleep - with or without pharmiceudical aids....
I an getting so tired of only being able to get a couple of hours of sleep before pain wakes me up and prevents me from going back to sleep.
What am I supposed to do? I already take an Ambien CR at bedtime and often chase it down with either a loritab or a percocet.
Despite me best efforts, I don't remember the last time I got a full night's sleep - with or without pharmiceudical aids....
I feel like a sponge
Sometimes, as many as 3-4 times a week, my medications really kick my butt. Nut only dous it affect my ability to ficus but I am physically drained as well - to the point that my BP drops to 98/72 even when I am in pain.
Speaking of pain, being as laid back as a manatee doesn't keep me from feeling pain. I can't even wear my soft cotton shorts now because my sciatic nerves are so sensative thaty lesg are once again feeling scalded.
Speaking of pain, being as laid back as a manatee doesn't keep me from feeling pain. I can't even wear my soft cotton shorts now because my sciatic nerves are so sensative thaty lesg are once again feeling scalded.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
what happened yesterday?
I have no idea what happened to yesterdays post - and am too out of it to try to recreate it. I don't even remember yesterday...
I guess I would have better luck if I had been able to sleep for more than a few hours a night over the past 4 days.
Last night, for example, I took a loratab with the rest of my meds when I went to bed at 10:30. (I took a percocet about 3 jours later as well) Six hours later I was still trying to go to sleep. Once I finally did, I was sleeping so lightly that, despite wearing ear plugs and a sleep mask (and having my head under the covers...), I still woke up when Cheryl did nothing more intrusive then to walk to my side of the bed and put something cold to drink on my bedside table.
What was the problem? More of the same. My back hurt, my knees ached, and my thighs were so sensative that I couldn't even wear my soft cotton shorts.
As soon as I get this injection in my knee, I am gonna crash into bed and set the alarm for October....
I guess I would have better luck if I had been able to sleep for more than a few hours a night over the past 4 days.
Last night, for example, I took a loratab with the rest of my meds when I went to bed at 10:30. (I took a percocet about 3 jours later as well) Six hours later I was still trying to go to sleep. Once I finally did, I was sleeping so lightly that, despite wearing ear plugs and a sleep mask (and having my head under the covers...), I still woke up when Cheryl did nothing more intrusive then to walk to my side of the bed and put something cold to drink on my bedside table.
What was the problem? More of the same. My back hurt, my knees ached, and my thighs were so sensative that I couldn't even wear my soft cotton shorts.
As soon as I get this injection in my knee, I am gonna crash into bed and set the alarm for October....
Monday, August 10, 2009
I feel like mule after a long day plowing...
I haven't posted much over the weekend just to give myself a break. For the past several days I have been getting very little sleep and, to use a phrase that my dad used to use all the time, I feel like I have been rode hard and put up wet" (referring to a horse and rider I'm sure.). Since I don't move that fast, I would probably compare myself more to the way a mule feels after having pulled a plow through a 40 acre field.
To put it another way, my back is killing me and my knees feel like someone mistook me for Nancy Kerrigan. For those of you that don't remember her, she was a very beautiful Olympic figure skater who, while competing in the 1994 Olympics, had har knee smashed with a lead pipe by a man associated with one of her rivals...
The pain got bad enough during the night that I finally took 2 loratab at the same time and got enough relief that I was able to drift off to sleep. I can't make that a habit, however, because I am only supposed to take 3 a day and then take the Percocet if the Loratab don't work. On top of that, I hate taking any of the narcotics for fear that I wil get hooked on them. I will literally lay in bet in tears, sometimes for hours, before taking something for the pain. To steal from the name of a famous soap opera, such are the days of my life....
To put it another way, my back is killing me and my knees feel like someone mistook me for Nancy Kerrigan. For those of you that don't remember her, she was a very beautiful Olympic figure skater who, while competing in the 1994 Olympics, had har knee smashed with a lead pipe by a man associated with one of her rivals...
The pain got bad enough during the night that I finally took 2 loratab at the same time and got enough relief that I was able to drift off to sleep. I can't make that a habit, however, because I am only supposed to take 3 a day and then take the Percocet if the Loratab don't work. On top of that, I hate taking any of the narcotics for fear that I wil get hooked on them. I will literally lay in bet in tears, sometimes for hours, before taking something for the pain. To steal from the name of a famous soap opera, such are the days of my life....
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I feel like I've lost my right arm
It used to be a popular phrase for someone to say that they would, "give their right arm" for something. Those of us that gave had to give up a large part if who they are would never say that however.
It is bad fnough to watch TV and see folks doing something that you know that you will probably never be able to do again. These are things that a normal person does every day and takes for granted. They include running or jogging even the shortest distances, going up or down stairs without a thought, or even glancing at a ladder without a body-shaking shudder at the mere prospect at the pain involved at having to climb up or down one.
These dissapointments are obvious ones bot not the one that I am referring to. What I am referring to us the fact that is Sunday morning and I am not at church with my wife.
For those of you that don't know me well, my relationship with Christ and my involvement with church has been a Huge part of my life ever since I was a young boy. Growing up my parents took us (me & my 2 brothers) to church every Sunday morning and evening and then again on Wednesday night. We did thus not because we were supposed to, but rather because we wanted to.
Once I graduated from Hugh School in 1980 I began what was an almost uninterrupted 29 year service of teaching Sunday School class. For the past 12-14 years I worked with the teens at the church and taught lessons 3 times a week.
You see, going to church was nothing that I did out of tradition or obligation but something that I did on a regular basis to surround myself with fellow Believers, to participate in the worship of Gid, and to serve Him and follow my passion by teaching and trying to make an pact on today's youth.
All this was becoming increasingly more difficult, however, and I finally had to admit to myself that I could no longer attend church regularily like I used to much less follow my passion and calling to work with the teens.
It has been 8.5 months since then and there has only been 2-3 times that I have been up to attending church (and that was the church that is closest to my house...)
I literally feel like I have lost my right arm. Especially when my wife leaves for church ansdwaves bye to me. How is an amputee supposed to wave back?
It is bad fnough to watch TV and see folks doing something that you know that you will probably never be able to do again. These are things that a normal person does every day and takes for granted. They include running or jogging even the shortest distances, going up or down stairs without a thought, or even glancing at a ladder without a body-shaking shudder at the mere prospect at the pain involved at having to climb up or down one.
These dissapointments are obvious ones bot not the one that I am referring to. What I am referring to us the fact that is Sunday morning and I am not at church with my wife.
For those of you that don't know me well, my relationship with Christ and my involvement with church has been a Huge part of my life ever since I was a young boy. Growing up my parents took us (me & my 2 brothers) to church every Sunday morning and evening and then again on Wednesday night. We did thus not because we were supposed to, but rather because we wanted to.
Once I graduated from Hugh School in 1980 I began what was an almost uninterrupted 29 year service of teaching Sunday School class. For the past 12-14 years I worked with the teens at the church and taught lessons 3 times a week.
You see, going to church was nothing that I did out of tradition or obligation but something that I did on a regular basis to surround myself with fellow Believers, to participate in the worship of Gid, and to serve Him and follow my passion by teaching and trying to make an pact on today's youth.
All this was becoming increasingly more difficult, however, and I finally had to admit to myself that I could no longer attend church regularily like I used to much less follow my passion and calling to work with the teens.
It has been 8.5 months since then and there has only been 2-3 times that I have been up to attending church (and that was the church that is closest to my house...)
I literally feel like I have lost my right arm. Especially when my wife leaves for church ansdwaves bye to me. How is an amputee supposed to wave back?
Friday, August 7, 2009
Mr. Sandman has ben kidnapped...
After the last few days it took a lot out of me to make the 4 hour excursion
to the doctors office and back. I was so wiped out that I crashed and tried going to bed atb8:00.
Despite taking a Percocet 10 along with all my regular medication I was only able to sleep an hour before pain woke me up.
14 hours later I am still looking for the brief respite from pain that REM sleep affords....
to the doctors office and back. I was so wiped out that I crashed and tried going to bed atb8:00.
Despite taking a Percocet 10 along with all my regular medication I was only able to sleep an hour before pain woke me up.
14 hours later I am still looking for the brief respite from pain that REM sleep affords....
Thursday, August 6, 2009
I feel like a hit & run victim
I got up this morning feeling like a victim of a hit & run during the night - And the worst part is that the vehicle in question was a steam roller....... And that wasn't intended to be funny.
My back hurts so bad that I can hardly roll over or sit up in bed, even with the use of the trapeze that Carl & Chris built for me - despite taking a couple of Loratab and a couple oh 1/2 tablets of Percocet during the night.
If that weren't bad enough my sciatic nerves have been hurting so bad during the night that my thighs feel like a burn victim - one that still has someone stabbing them with a knitting needle every few minutes.
But wait, it gets even better. My back and thighs hurt so much during the night (all as a result of me being upright enought to go to SKC yesterday) that I tried not to move around too much during a sleep-deprived night. Unfortunately my knees paid the price.
How many out there have ever had to deboned a chicken or turkey and physically broke the drumstick off the thigh bone at the joint? That is exactly what my knees feel like when after either standing or walking on them more than 5 minutes a day or trying to bend them after not doing so for a while.
I call thus trifecta of symptoms a Triple Play and I get them for a minim of 24-36 hours after every "outing" to a doctors office or elsewhere.
Are my discriptions graphic? I guess they probably are - but how else would you understand what my quality of life is like? I go through a box of kleenix every week from wiping the tears from my eyes and often wake up with one or both eyes almost crusted shut with dried tears.
Doctors like to get you to measure your pain on a scale of 1-10. My constant pilain level stays between a 4 and a 6 but frequently spikes to a 8-9 when that midget stabs me in the leg or when the jolly green giant attempts
to "debone me" by wrenching my lower leg off at the knee.
So.... If you really want to imaging yourself in my position, imaging that you are hospitalized following a traffic accident of some sort. Your lower back hurts su much that you can hardly move and the outside of both thighs have suffered severe burns ( making it painful to even touch or cover up). Dozens of times a day, regardless of whether I am awake or asleep) an invisible man uses a sharp lettener opener to stab those burned areas to the bone without any warning whatsoever. If all that weren't bad enough, Hulk Hogan makes several attempts to wrench your leg off at the knee so that he can fight you with it.
To add insult to injury (the the recovery time fir these symptoms increases every time I have to leave the house without sufficient recovery time from the last excursion...) I have to go to Monroe for smother knee injection after lunch....
My back hurts so bad that I can hardly roll over or sit up in bed, even with the use of the trapeze that Carl & Chris built for me - despite taking a couple of Loratab and a couple oh 1/2 tablets of Percocet during the night.
If that weren't bad enough my sciatic nerves have been hurting so bad during the night that my thighs feel like a burn victim - one that still has someone stabbing them with a knitting needle every few minutes.
But wait, it gets even better. My back and thighs hurt so much during the night (all as a result of me being upright enought to go to SKC yesterday) that I tried not to move around too much during a sleep-deprived night. Unfortunately my knees paid the price.
How many out there have ever had to deboned a chicken or turkey and physically broke the drumstick off the thigh bone at the joint? That is exactly what my knees feel like when after either standing or walking on them more than 5 minutes a day or trying to bend them after not doing so for a while.
I call thus trifecta of symptoms a Triple Play and I get them for a minim of 24-36 hours after every "outing" to a doctors office or elsewhere.
Are my discriptions graphic? I guess they probably are - but how else would you understand what my quality of life is like? I go through a box of kleenix every week from wiping the tears from my eyes and often wake up with one or both eyes almost crusted shut with dried tears.
Doctors like to get you to measure your pain on a scale of 1-10. My constant pilain level stays between a 4 and a 6 but frequently spikes to a 8-9 when that midget stabs me in the leg or when the jolly green giant attempts
to "debone me" by wrenching my lower leg off at the knee.
So.... If you really want to imaging yourself in my position, imaging that you are hospitalized following a traffic accident of some sort. Your lower back hurts su much that you can hardly move and the outside of both thighs have suffered severe burns ( making it painful to even touch or cover up). Dozens of times a day, regardless of whether I am awake or asleep) an invisible man uses a sharp lettener opener to stab those burned areas to the bone without any warning whatsoever. If all that weren't bad enough, Hulk Hogan makes several attempts to wrench your leg off at the knee so that he can fight you with it.
To add insult to injury (the the recovery time fir these symptoms increases every time I have to leave the house without sufficient recovery time from the last excursion...) I have to go to Monroe for smother knee injection after lunch....
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
the end of an era
Let me begin by stating that I have been in almost constant pain for the past few days despite all the meds and even the narcotics I have been taking. Despite the fact that I was already in pain and didn't really feel up to it, I had a meeting this morning with my former employer to cover questions I had revolving COBRA, LTD, SSI, and other disability and insurance issues.
The meeting was very pleasant but the HR Director rushed through the info because it was apparent to her that even sitting up in the wheelchair was causing me increased back and sciatic pain.
So.... It looks like I have closed the door on not only a 6.5 year employment but probably on my career and ability to work as well.
It was a difficult dat physically as well as emotionally. Keep me in your prayers.
The meeting was very pleasant but the HR Director rushed through the info because it was apparent to her that even sitting up in the wheelchair was causing me increased back and sciatic pain.
So.... It looks like I have closed the door on not only a 6.5 year employment but probably on my career and ability to work as well.
It was a difficult dat physically as well as emotionally. Keep me in your prayers.
it's been a long night
It is past 4:00AM on 8/6 and I am still awake. Despite all the neuro tin and muscle relaxers I normally take at bedtime, I also took an Ambien CR - and yet the intermittant stabbing pain in my thighs kept me from sleeping.
The worst is that this seems to be a pattern that repeats itself 3-5 times a week. The lack of sleep only makes my ability to talk or write coherentky only worse....
The worst is that this seems to be a pattern that repeats itself 3-5 times a week. The lack of sleep only makes my ability to talk or write coherentky only worse....
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Start of a Journey
I have to take a deep breath right now and hang my head for a moment. The preparation for this moment has been long in coming, but something that i have been avoiding and not acknowledging for as long as I can. The journey in question: the realization that my health problems have reached the point that I may never be able to return to work again.
For years now I have been plagued with chronic back pain and, even more recently, severe knee problems caused by the need for a new left knee. While I am undergoing treatments for both of these issues, neither problem is anything that can be solved quickly. While three orthopedists have told me that there is nothing they can do for my knee but replace it, I have also been told that I can't get one for another 3 years (replacement knees have a life span of 15 years or so and the doctors don't want to have to perform a 2nd replacement in the same patient....) and until I loose at least 150 pounds - something that is almost impossible to do with my thyroid condition, medications causing weight gain, and an inability to exercise.
Meanwhile, I have had a neurosurgeon and 2 different orthopedists state that there is no surgical option that can relieve my chronic back and sciatic pain and that my only relief will come from long term pain management - both narcotic as well as a continuing treatment of epidurals and nerve blocks. I'll exound on these later I imagine.
So, like someone taking that first step in an AA meeting and admitting that they have a problem, I am taking my own deep breath and admitting for the first time that my name is David and I am disabled.
For years now I have been plagued with chronic back pain and, even more recently, severe knee problems caused by the need for a new left knee. While I am undergoing treatments for both of these issues, neither problem is anything that can be solved quickly. While three orthopedists have told me that there is nothing they can do for my knee but replace it, I have also been told that I can't get one for another 3 years (replacement knees have a life span of 15 years or so and the doctors don't want to have to perform a 2nd replacement in the same patient....) and until I loose at least 150 pounds - something that is almost impossible to do with my thyroid condition, medications causing weight gain, and an inability to exercise.
Meanwhile, I have had a neurosurgeon and 2 different orthopedists state that there is no surgical option that can relieve my chronic back and sciatic pain and that my only relief will come from long term pain management - both narcotic as well as a continuing treatment of epidurals and nerve blocks. I'll exound on these later I imagine.
So, like someone taking that first step in an AA meeting and admitting that they have a problem, I am taking my own deep breath and admitting for the first time that my name is David and I am disabled.
Aug. 4. 2009
Now that I have gotten all the background stuff (or at least most of it) out of the way, it is time for a "normal" entry.
It has been a very long and painful past 10 days. I have been "out and about" far too much what with Carl's wedding back on the 25th and 4 different doctor's visits last week including an injection in my left knee and a back procedure of Friday.
In the midst of all that, I got word that my employment at SKC was no longer something I needed to worry about (I'm a glass half full kind of guy... LOL) so stress was also a factor.
The accumulative effect of me having to get out every couple of days didn't really give me any time to recover much and I ended up having to postpone today's doctor's appointment because of the extreme pain I was in during most of the night and into the morning. I'll have to make it up later this week.
It has been a very long and painful past 10 days. I have been "out and about" far too much what with Carl's wedding back on the 25th and 4 different doctor's visits last week including an injection in my left knee and a back procedure of Friday.
In the midst of all that, I got word that my employment at SKC was no longer something I needed to worry about (I'm a glass half full kind of guy... LOL) so stress was also a factor.
The accumulative effect of me having to get out every couple of days didn't really give me any time to recover much and I ended up having to postpone today's doctor's appointment because of the extreme pain I was in during most of the night and into the morning. I'll have to make it up later this week.
Get caught up...
First and foremost, forgive any misspellings or gramatical errors in this and furher blog posts. The massive amount of medications I am on make it very difficult to concentrate enough to spell properly or keep from rambeling and repeating myself - and it is only fair, if you care enough to read these posts, that I be honest with you enough to share with you the effects that this is having one me. I have had a college level reading and writing ability since elementary school and love to write as a hobby - but this is getting increasingly more and more difficult due to the mental affects I am suffering due to the medications.
Luckily doing things such as starting this blog is made easier because most of what I do "on the computer" now is actually done via my iPhone and from lying in bed. Sitting upright for long enough to check email and make blog entries on a dialy basis would cause me the same amount of pain as if I were doing coomputer related stuff at work. If I could sit at a laptop for this long, I could and certainly would have returned to work....
Back Issues: The first weekend of December in 2006 I suffered an herniated disc in my back. To make a long story short, the herniation only exagerated the existing problem I had with a narrowing of the pathways that the nerves are in within my sipne (called stenosis) and I ended up undergoing several injections in my spine before finally undergoing surgery to inplant a spinal cord stimulator in my back. This makes me feel as if I am sitting on a bibrating pilow but coveres my entire bosy from my waist to my toes. Depending on the severity of the pain, it does a good job at limiting the sevirity of the pain I am feeling or masking it entirely. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be as effective now as when it was first implanted. More on that later.
After getting the implant I returned to work and did great for a few months before the accumulating effect of me sitting upright all day began to cause an increassingly amount of pain once again. I returned to the pain clinic and began, without realizing it at a time, a routine of getting treatments for my back avery 4-5 weekss for the next year. The issue with my back has reached the point where I cannot stand for more than 5-10 minutes (and that is really pushing it..), sit up for more than 60-90 minutes, or even recline back on pillows or a recliner for more than 2-3 hours before my lower back begins to really hurt nad the sciatic pain begins to intensify.
The sciatic pain is the worst. At times it feels like I have been sliced to the bone from the hip to the knww. Other times (quite often, as a matter of fact) the nerves in one leg or another are so sensative that I can't beat to have a sheet much less clothing of any kind to touch my thighs. The most severe pain, however, comes any time I have been upright for more than an hour or so and it feels as if a midget has snuck up behind me and stabs me to the bone with a sharp knitting needle. When that happens I cannot help but to jerk and yell out - something that often wakes me and my wife up at night.
During the course of all this the pain level kept increasing to the point that it was becoming more and more difficult for em to work a 40-hour week. Finally, the first of May of 2009, I once again was placed on disability by my doctors and eventally was terminated from my job at SKC.
As a side note about that - I bear no ill will towards SKC for making that decision and have continued a very codial relationship with the folks I worked with there. They are a great group of people that I wish nothing but the best for.
Knee Issues: If the problems with my back weren't enough, being up and around following my return to work really aggrivated an existing problem I was having with my knees (especially the left one) and my mobility issues have progressed through these steps over the past 18 months:
Luckily doing things such as starting this blog is made easier because most of what I do "on the computer" now is actually done via my iPhone and from lying in bed. Sitting upright for long enough to check email and make blog entries on a dialy basis would cause me the same amount of pain as if I were doing coomputer related stuff at work. If I could sit at a laptop for this long, I could and certainly would have returned to work....
Back Issues: The first weekend of December in 2006 I suffered an herniated disc in my back. To make a long story short, the herniation only exagerated the existing problem I had with a narrowing of the pathways that the nerves are in within my sipne (called stenosis) and I ended up undergoing several injections in my spine before finally undergoing surgery to inplant a spinal cord stimulator in my back. This makes me feel as if I am sitting on a bibrating pilow but coveres my entire bosy from my waist to my toes. Depending on the severity of the pain, it does a good job at limiting the sevirity of the pain I am feeling or masking it entirely. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be as effective now as when it was first implanted. More on that later.
After getting the implant I returned to work and did great for a few months before the accumulating effect of me sitting upright all day began to cause an increassingly amount of pain once again. I returned to the pain clinic and began, without realizing it at a time, a routine of getting treatments for my back avery 4-5 weekss for the next year. The issue with my back has reached the point where I cannot stand for more than 5-10 minutes (and that is really pushing it..), sit up for more than 60-90 minutes, or even recline back on pillows or a recliner for more than 2-3 hours before my lower back begins to really hurt nad the sciatic pain begins to intensify.
The sciatic pain is the worst. At times it feels like I have been sliced to the bone from the hip to the knww. Other times (quite often, as a matter of fact) the nerves in one leg or another are so sensative that I can't beat to have a sheet much less clothing of any kind to touch my thighs. The most severe pain, however, comes any time I have been upright for more than an hour or so and it feels as if a midget has snuck up behind me and stabs me to the bone with a sharp knitting needle. When that happens I cannot help but to jerk and yell out - something that often wakes me and my wife up at night.
During the course of all this the pain level kept increasing to the point that it was becoming more and more difficult for em to work a 40-hour week. Finally, the first of May of 2009, I once again was placed on disability by my doctors and eventally was terminated from my job at SKC.
As a side note about that - I bear no ill will towards SKC for making that decision and have continued a very codial relationship with the folks I worked with there. They are a great group of people that I wish nothing but the best for.
Knee Issues: If the problems with my back weren't enough, being up and around following my return to work really aggrivated an existing problem I was having with my knees (especially the left one) and my mobility issues have progressed through these steps over the past 18 months:
- Using a cane whenever I had to do much walking such as at work or church
- Using a cane even to get in and out of a house, and avoiding stairs if at all possible
- Using a cane every time I am upright - even small trips like from my bed to the bathroom
- Using a rolling walker (called a "rollater") to visit my doctors and such
- Having to be pushed in a wheelchair any time I will have to travel more then the shortest distances
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